Oh, the Oscars. The most anticipated awards show of the year - so glamorous, so indulgent, so long and overly drawn-out. And the fashion was sub-par.
(Perhaps, now you better understand why the Golden Globes are my favorite.)
I thought the stage this year was amazing:
Whereas the hosts were lackluster:
Thank God for Doogie's opening number (who knew he had a set of pipes?):
"Uh, I love you Noelle (from So You Think You Can Dance), but can I go back up there with the boys? Thanks."
There were some classy moments:
A wonderful tribute to John Hughes featuring one of my favorite movie quotes:
"When you grow up, your heart dies." -The Breakfast Club
And you gotta love James Taylor.
There were some funny moments, too:
Ben Stiller as an Avatar
SJP and Tom Ford being referred to as "clothes horse"
This lady pulling a Kanye
"It's a collaboration between handsome, gifted people, and sickly little mole people." -Robert Downey Jr.
And I'm not quite sure why Oprah gets to do everything in life, but at least she does it well:
3-time winner Sandy Powell for Best Costume Design in "The Young Victoria" - looking fierce
Director Pete Doctor for Best Animated Film "Up"
Geoffrey Fletcher for Best Adapted Screenplay "Precious"
Christoph Waltz for Best Supporting Actor in "Inglourious Basterds"
Mo'Nique for Best Supporting Actress in "Precious"
Jeff Bridges for Best Actor in "Crazy Heart"
Kathryn Bigelow (1st female winner) for Best Director of "The Hurt Locker"
James Cameron acting out this feelings on his ex-wife/superior
Best Actress winner (and the night's darling) Sandra Bullock for "The Blind Side"
Okay, now on to the real winners . . .
If the Academy can double their nominations for their top prize, then so can I:
It is strange because I wasn't blown away by anyone this year, but I wasn't disappointed either. I feel reluctant, however, because my picks come from an objective place - not a strong emotional place. It is usually more fun when more celebs are in attendance and the fashion is extreme (on both ends - where were all the fashion heavy hitters?).
What I did notice was the boldness of shapes and textures that seemed to replace the bold colors we've seen in years past. Yes, depending on the angle these gowns could look atrocious - but at the right one, they looked amazing(, but maybe just in photographs).
I can already feel the onslaught of disagreement that will follow this post, but I stand by my decisions (feel free to post a comment).
1. Amanda Seyfried in Armani Privé
I usually don't like too modern, but this was so fresh and gorgeous. (Not a huge fan of the zig-zag bracelet though - kept looking like an "M".)
2. Jennifer Lopez in Armani Privé
I know, I know. But look at the dress!
3. Maggie Gyllenhaal in Dries Van Noten
Girl Crush #1. The make-up, the colors - it all works. Wish it were a bit more glamorous, but my heart still belongs to her.
4. Helen Mirren in Badgley Mischka
This is not right. I want to make the same deal with the Devil that she did. Flawless.
5. Kristen Stewart in Monique Lhuillier
Finally - I'll forgive the lack of jewelry because you stepped up to the plate right on time.
6. Meryl Streep in Chris March (PR alum)
What is there to say? Meryl is queen - and we all bow down.
7. Miley Cyrus in Jenny Packham
I love this - the dress, the earrings(!), the hair. She is somehow youthful, edgy, and romantic.
8. Rachel McAdams in Elie Saab
Looking as she always should - soft and beautiful.
9. Vera Farmiga in Marchesa
I am not particularly fond of Marchesa, but if you can't wear this to the Oscars, where can you wear it? I love that she took a risk with the color and the texture.
10. Zoe Kravitz in Alexis Mabille
This is secretly my favorite dress of the night, but felt that I should give the film actors the top spots. This dress epitomizes everything that I love right now - the colors, the velvet, the neckline. (I die a little every time I look at it.)
I hated this dress when it was on the red carpet . . .
but switch the natural sunlight with florescent lights, the clutch for an Oscar (which conveniently shields the ghastly rose applique), and you win me over.
"I told you so." (Alright, alright - you don't have to rub it in. That was either really good planning, or just dumb luck.)
I am contractually obligated to love anything that has little forks on it.
And I can't get over her earrings.
A for effort on the dress (the hair needs work though)
Long-sleeve love continues
Eh, not great but it made the list because this woman is 58-years-old. (Not to mention the first female to win an Oscar for Best Director.)
Love the hair, LOVE the necklace.
Oh, look who decided to wash/style their hair! The dress is good, too (although have we seen this before?)
I love Versace - and am glad to see more texture
Her hotness pushed a mediocre dress to another level
Not a huge fan of the matchy-matchy jewelry, but I like this color on her
Always safe, but always good
Another great example of hotness pushing
(In order of descending hotness:)
Couples (Done Right/Gone Wrong)
We saw lots of blue in the couples:
Sure they may look a tad mis-matched, but separately they look fantastic
Mo'Nique rockin' her tribute to Hattie McDaniel
Looks like Jim and his wife drown in this version (at least it's eco-friendly) . . .
Much better-looking couple, if you ask me.
This is how you do all black - classy.
This is not.
Woody's tux is Burberry AND 100% hemp - how could one not like it?
First of all, what was up George Clooney's butt last night?
Secondly, just because you are naturally hot does not mean you have the right to stop trying. (This applies to both of you.)
I do not get it. I feel like the top is beautiful and the bottom is okay - but the middle is terrible and the combination makes no sense. No sense at all.
Red lips with a violet gown with rose-boobs? Really? And wait, is that a two-toned train I see? *Sigh* (Not to mention the wrinkles at the bottom that peacock lady can't seem to ignore.)
One of your hideous "Open Hearts" necklaces would have been better than this nothingness. (Also, your reds don't match.)
Aww, I love you - but for some reason I am just not feeling this dress.
While I do appreciate your highly inappropriate analogy - this dress is so not money, and we do know it.
Not horrendous, but not Oscar-worthy
Good Lord . . .
these women need new hair/stylists.
Not bad, but for the trashy thigh-high, black lace slut, I mean, slit.
Oh, how I wish the mid-section ruffles just went all the way down!
Way too much going on - none of which work.
I get it. You're trying to be romantic, but you're young - be modern. And try not to match the dress to your skin color SO precisely (unless it is EXACT - see Demi Moore above).
I admit, I am still perplexed over this entire look. I keep going back and forth over the hair and the dress - kind of like how I go back and forth over her face and her body. "Hot or not? Hot or not?" (I don't think I'll ever be quite sure.)
1 hour ago